Dewage Ex Machina

dew'-age ex mach-i'-na n. compound, archaic
an opinion, statement or treatise
- spewing as a rant, speech or incitement from the internet
- as the result of an intermittant explosive disorder
- in an ineffectual effort
- to right an apparent or perceived wrong, injustice or disservice.

Monday, July 12, 2010

2010 U.S. Open - A Personal Perspective

First off, I really did have a great time! Chuck Hanson was the host and was fantastically generous with the accommodations and tickets.

The venue, Pebble Beach, was incredible. What a great place for a "walk spoiled" as Mark Twain said. Saturday and Sunday were overcast and a little coolish, but it was much better than being baked in the sun all day. Chuck's house is a 1/2 mile from the Lodge. The worst part of the whole walking around thing was going up and down the small hill behind the house to get to and from the venue. Chuck provided Lodge Premier tickets, which meant nothing for watching the golf (first come, first served), but allowed us into the Lodge and Tavern for a break. On Saturday, we had a table in the Pavillion -- that was the schitzel. Open bar, all you can eat, tvs everywhere. Great place for a break and to re-group and try to figure out what you wanted to do and see.

The Main Gate funneled you right past the Merchandise tent -- huge doesn't really describe it. It was more like a portable CostCo than anything else. If it had a golf logo on it you could buy it there. From there it was all downhill to the course. We ended up not using the main entrance, but using a smaller one by the Lodge that dumped us right out onto the 1st Hole. That's where things get interesting.

There were grandstands at every tee and green. First come, first serve. Once you were in, there was a separate line to get back in if you needed a bio break or something to eat/drink/make merry. The only place I saw trouble was when some young punk like I used to be tried to force his way into the stands to an empty seat that was reserved for someone who left temporarily. He had four beers in his hands and was giving the Marshall grief, but because drinking was obviously more important, he ended up fading back into the crowd.

Everything at the concession stands starts close to $10 -- hot dogs, burgers, beers. Maybe not quite that but the $8 beers seemed to keep a lid on things. It would have been a completely different event if beers were $2 each, but I digress...

The golf itself was, well, interesting. Wed/Thurs/Fri there were some decent spots where you could park and watch them off the tee and actually see where the ball landed. Getting a spot to do both of those things on Sat/Sun wasn't really possible. Standing around all day in one spot was necessary. That's why I posted about watching the landing zone on the 1st Hole. There were other spots like that available, but how often can you watch these guys smash a long drive dead center into the fairway, or spank a short iron 230yds onto the green? They're amazing athletes and can do it every time, but after watching 20 of them do it...

This is where the venue falls a little short. It was never designed to provide a couple hundred thousand spectators a view of every tee, green, and landing zone. The landscaping would have had to be more stadium in design with wide hillsides supporting those views. That's not what a golf course is designed for. And following a Name Player was out of the question. Without doubt, the grandstand seats at 18 were where you wanted to be, but you had to get there at 8am for the 3pm finish. And getting in and out was a 30 minute wait AFTER you waited a couple hours to get seats.

So we had great tickets, stayed as close to the venue as was possible, could go anywhere we wanted to -- and ended up watching the leaders finish on tv back at the house.

I did see Tom Watson finish 17 (well, I saw his head and shoulders, anyway), then saw him tee off on 18 -- just tee off not where the ball went, then walked up 18 with him while he waited for the green to clear for his approach. Me and 10,000 of his closest friends that is. At that point, it struck me more as idol worship (OMG! Grass from Phil Mickelson's divot caught me in the FACE! I'll never wash my face again!), because golf -- for all its frustrations and rewards -- is meant to be played. A smaller tournament, following the players during a Pro/Am kinda thing, definitely. Arnie's Army is a thing of the past, too many people to move.

This gets back to my problem with the local courses in LA. I'd pay more for fewer tee times (10 minutes instead of 7 1/2, maybe?) or even limit it to fours instead of fives just to get a five our round instead of the 6-7 hours it is now (if you tee off after 8:30am). It's hard to believe the PGA could charge more for a ticket, and it WAS the U.S. Open, so fans really should be able to come to it. In the end, it was more about the spectacle and the crowd than the game.

I did pick up some nice tips just watching, though. "Ohh, they go under the trees!" and "Thaat's why you want to be in the fairway..." and the idea of driving the green on the 420-yd. 3rd Hole was absolutely brilliant. I'm going to have to try that one myself.

The cameras were set up to point away from the crowd, to prevent that young-guy-I-used-to-be-lik
e from crashing the tee box, I guess -- not that I was ever that disrespectful. The closest I came was standing five feet away from the drop zone on 17 where Phil Mickelson hit on after hitting into the camera cages a half hour before it actually happened. I know this because I was at the house watching on tv when Phil hit from there. So if you want to see the wrecks in person, you gotta be in the right place AND be patient.

Of course, if I would have been at the right spot, I would have found Dustin Johnson's ball. But, it wasn't meant to be.

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